#treatment resistant
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i spent nearly two decades of my life severely depressed and suicidal and for so long i believed wholeheartedly that it was my fault. i believed that the reason no medication or therapy had ever worked for my depression was because i wasnât ACTUALLY depressedâ i believed i was just lazy, bad, manipulative, and just using depression as an excuse for the inherent badness i thought was inside me. this was a story that was told to me and reinforced over and over again by treatment providers.
this past summer, i tried my 30th+ psychiatric medication, not expecting to see any results. the day i realized it was working was the day i realized that i wasâŠplanning my future???suddenly i no longer wanted to stay in bed all day and never go outside. i no longer wanted to isolate. i wanted to see people, talk to people! i started spending more time with friends and facetiming people and talking on the phone, things that i rarely did in the past. when i had been depressed, the only movies/tv shows i could focus on were super intense, fast paced, and scary or disturbing because that was the only way to hold my attention. after starting this medication, i started enjoying SITCOMS! i no longer felt like i was fighting to just get through every single day of my life.
there was such a clear and measurable difference in the quality of my life that i started to question why i believed that my depression had been my fault. it became very clear to me that a large part of my depression had been biological. i had not been lazy or bad. i had been sick. my brain was sick the same way other organs get sick sometimes. this brought up a lot of grief for meâ grief for all the lost time that iâd spent trying to find something that worked, grief for how much pain i had been in for so long. but it also brought up sheer FURY at all of the therapists and psychiatrists who had treated me like i just wasnât trying hard enough to get better.
i had been labeled treatment resistant, of course, and the only recommendations i had received after being given that label were TMS, Ketamine, and ECT. once i had tried all three with no success, i believed i was just a lost cause. i thought i was out of options. i was made to feel that way by so many treatment professionals. i was told that nothing was working because of my complex trauma and that once i healed from that then i would stop being depressed (as if itâs that easy to just fully recover from CPTSD!) i was told that i just needed to do more DBT, i just needed to live and breathe DBT skills and then i would get better, even though iâd done intensive DBT programs for years with no improvement to my depression. (yes, it helped me to change my behavior and quit self harm, but behavior change isnât necessarily indicative of a change in mood. i could do all the right things all the time and still be in excruciating mental pain.)
i was told that i just wasnât trying hard enough, or that i must have a personality disorder, or that i just needed to exercise more, or eat less, or eat MORE, or eat differently, or get a job, or get a dog, or do yoga, or acupuncture, or biofeedback, or find purpose in my lifeâ psychiatrist after psychiatrist looked for something to blame everywhere but in the mirror. instead of admitting that they werenât equipped to help me, they made me believe that it was MY fault i wasnât getting better. and i believed them. for SO long, i believed them.
and now after finding a medication that works for me, i see everything so much more clearly. psychiatrists need to put their enormous egos aside and actually treat patients with treatment resistant depression instead of blaming us for suffering from a (partially at least) biological illness. if youâre a doctor and you know that a patients illness is outside of the scope of your abilities, either do more research and get more training to help them or refer them to someone who specializes in what they need. donât keep them around letting them pay you thousands of dollars while you make them try the same thing over and over and over again and expect to get a different result. people act like things like ECT are a last resort option, and in doing so make people believe that if it doesnât help then youâre out of options. but nobody ever tried me on tricyclics. nobody tried me on MAOIs. nobody told me about how some dopamine agonists like Pramipexole have had some success in treating treatment resident depression. instead i was made to feel like asking to not be suicidal daily was asking for too much. if youâre a clinician who thinks thatâs asking for too much, youâre in the wrong profession. we can do better than that. we NEED to do better than that.
in my experience, out of every profession, doctors have some of the biggest egos iâve ever seen. i say this as someone who is both mentally ill as well as physically disabled. many doctors HATE it when you do your own research. they HATE it when you have suggestions, or when you ask for what you need. itâs almost as if they feel threatened by it, like they need to believe that they are superior to their patients because of how much time and money and energy they put into going to med schoolâ they need to believe they hate their hard work was worth it so they have a tendency to dismiss any ideas their patients might have. i donât care how many years youâve been in school. you do not get to tell your sick patients that itâs their fault theyâre sick to justify your laziness and refusal to learn new things. put away your god complex and actually listen to your patients.
and the strangest part to me is that the longer you have been suicidal for, the less seriously they take it. the same way that the more chronically ill you are the less people believe you. itâs bizarreâ when people see pain that is beyond what they can fathom, instead of feeling empathy, they tell you you must be faking it or that you must be looking for attention. iâll never understand this. itâs as if they think that suicidality doesnât need to be taken seriously unless the patient has successfully completed suicide. and i think itâs very clear how that logic is flawed. i was treated like i just wanted attention whenever i asked for help with my chronic suicidality and it made me terrified to ask for help with ANYTHING. i still constantly am afraid that if iâm too honest with clinicians then theyâll think i just want attention. attention isnât a bad thing to want, all human beings need some degree of attention, but regardless that doesnât negate the severity of a personâs suicidality. i wasnât attention seeking by asking for help. i was STRONG. i was really fucking strong, far stronger than i shouldâve had to be. i fought for my life every single day and i am lucky to still be here but itâs not luck that got me here. itâs ME that got me here.
i donât want to make it sound like i speak for everyone who has suffered from TRD, because i donât think that would be fair. i canât tell you if thereâs a med out there thatâll work for you. all i can tell you is that most psychiatrists prematurely tell chronically suicidal patients that there is nothing they can do to help them or that theyâre out of medication options. if youâre a psychiatrist or doctor and you feel yourself getting defensive while reading this, i invite you to get curious about where that activation is coming from.
and if you are someone with treatment resident depression or chronic suicidality reading this, i am telling you now: your illness is not your fault. i donât know if itâs going to get better or not, but i can promise youâ it is not your fault and it never has been.
#my words#treatment resistant depression#treatment resistant#major depressive disorder#major depression#clinical depression#transcranial magnetic stimulation#tms#rtms#electroconvulsive therapy#ect#electroshock#electroshock therapy#psychiatry#psychiatrist#dbt#therapy abuse#therapy#ketamine infusion#spravato#ketamine therapy#esketamine#trd#cptsd recovery#trauma healing#chronic illness#chronic pain#mine
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[THIS POST IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. TALK TO A PSYCHIATRIST.]
if you have treatment-resistant depression and you've been on every SSRI and SNRI available, you tried abilify and seroquel and rexulti, you tried TMS and ketamine and basically every single option short of ECT, or maybe you did try ECT and that didn't help either, you've done inpatient and partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient and none of it did shit: you want to try Auvelity.
i can't guarantee it'll work, obviously, but that was my exact situation for over six years and Auvelity literally Saved Me. in two months my PHQ-9 went from 21 to 3. it went on the market in 2022 so your doctor may not know about it yet. if you have insurance, there's a discount card that brings it down to $10 a month. (if you don't have insurance you're probably out of luck, because america is an evil country, and i'm sorry. maybe ask if your psychiatrist can get a regular supply of samples. if you can scrape together enough to pay the premium each month, it might be worth getting a marketplace plan and just using it for this.)
what it is, bizarrely, is dextromethorphan plus buproprion, and apparently the buproprion is NOT the key ingredient, it's just there to potentiate the dextromethorphan. which, yes, is cough syrup. i have no idea how it works but it does. also if you've tried buproprion (wellbutrin) before and it didn't work, don't worry, i did too. the cough syrup is where the magic is.
for me there have been zero side effects. i can read books again, i can watch a full episode of tv without needing a buddy to keep me focused, i don't get high every day and stare at youtube for hours. i'm not even passively suicidal anymore. i like sex again. i enjoy exercise now, because i actually get the endorphins my body was refusing to produce for years. if you are also in depression hell and you've been there forever and nothing has made any real difference: this might.
(and feel free to show your doctor this post if the prospect of starting the conversation is overwhelming! i have Been There.)
#AND THERE'S NO BRAIN ZAPS!!!!!! no more brutal withdrawal if i'm two hours late!!!#depression#treatment-resistant depression#auvelity#antidepressants#mdd#actually mdd
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đ¶Splish-Splash he was takinâ a bathđ¶
I think Sebastian seriously deserves some R&R.
Get this man in a hot tub.
Extras and scribbles!
#fat Sebastian my beloved#I couldnât resist giving him a belly#sebastian solace#suggestive?#heâs just relaxing#there is nothing under that water#gave him the Ken Doll Treatment#phrart#art#sebastian solace pressure#sebastian pressure#roblox pressure#also Sea Slug+Isopod+Vampire Squid fella anyone??#digital art
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Yeah so i had an idea that bill would have to fix all the damage he did on Earth as a last trial to be freed from the Theraprism... and also i am bad at drawing cartoons and it always ends up looking like adventure time đ i think my dialogue/characterization is always so cringe and ooc so thats why i almost never upload fanart anymore đ
#gravity falls#digital art#artists on tumblr#crystals art#my art#fanart#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#theraprism#teen mabel#teen dipper#comic#sketch#also idk how to draw old men#are they even recognizable đ#idk if i want the cameras to be full on interdimensional robots or if theyre controlled by actual beings#and i think as bill continues to resist treatment it becomes more and more like torture#like the axolotl is on their last straw and really wants to fix bill so theyve resorted to punishment
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do you have "treatment resistant depression" or are you just fundamentally living a life that would make anyone depressed?
are you just dealing with abuse, poverty, and oppression? are you just dealing with a lifetime of trauma? do we just live in a society where peoples basic needs are neglected, and the completely understanble response to that is pathologized? on purpose? so that it's just an individual problem and people arent Trying Enough... so nothing about the system has to change?
...do you have "treatment resistant depression," or do you just need real community, support, resources, and protection?
#yes depression is multifacted so if this post doesnt resonate with you.. just keep fucking scrolling#dont come at me like itS A chEMiCaL imBaLanCe..#come back to me when you understand the point being made and dont derail. thanks#softspoonie#depression#depressed#treatment resistant depression#depressive disorder#major depressive disorder#oppression#systemic inequality#systemic injustice#systemic ableism#ableism#mental health#mental illness#mentally ill#trauma#complex trauma#ptsd#cptsd#traumatized#abuse survivor#abuse#survivor#antipsychiatry#antipsych#anti psych#anti psychiatry#psychiatry
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âDo you condemn Hamas?â
Hamas is a resistance movement, and the notion that they are an existential terrorist threat is propaganda to justify the genocide of Palestinians.
#I have zionists in my inbox and instead of giving air to their ignorant and hateful comments I will make my stance on hamas known here#the west has a monopoly on the definition of terrorism#Hamas is merely a product of this brutal Israeli occupation#on the resistance fighters#I will not condemn resistance fighters#this is a reactionary force#ofc they wouldâve been radicalised they have no other choice#they have had everything taken away from them#free gaza#gaza#palestine#free palestine#rafah#all eyes on rafah#hamas as terrorists is absurd Israeli propaganda. Hamas fight back to resist the occupation and brutal treatment of Palestinians#israeli occupation#israel#boycott israel
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Fellow disabled people/in recovery people/suicidal people, please avoid interaction with @skylarthethompson .
I tried to kill myself last year because of my ED and chronic pain. I was in a coma for 2 days, in the hospital for 2 weeks, and am still suffering the after affects of the damage the 3 months worth of pills I swallowed did to my brain and body, and I'm still struggling with suicidal thoughts due to my many physical and mental illnesses. I just hope me exposing this cruel human will keep them from hurting anyone else who is also struggling.
Telling someone they have nothing to live for is so fucking beyond ok and I just want to warn anyone else who is suffering from chronic pain/illnesses/disabilities and mental illnesses/suicidal ideation that this person is a cruel and insensitive troll and to not let them rent space in your mind.
I reported them; anyone else who sees this please report this despicable behavior so they don't do any further damage to the mentally ill/chronically ill community here on Tumblr.
The first comment is clearly suicide baiting, and I guess they realized that and tried to seem a little less depraved; but you can't undo saying shit like this:
Also, take a look at the victim mentality at work here: "you're a smart smart nice person and I'm a dumb dumb mean person." đ.
And then there's the fake "do-gooder" story. So telling a very disabled person that their life isn't worth living is helping, and "a good coping mechanism"?? Anyone with half a braincell can tell you're just trying to seem less like an asshole when you've been exposed as one. Nice try to not seem like an absolute garbage person; but it didn't work.
And this selfishness: "I don't feel safe now! I don't want my virtual life ruined! I don't want gross people telling me horrible insults when my mental health can't take it!" Funny, because I didn't want your gross opinion on why I should just kill myself because my life is too miserable to be worth living with all my mental and physical illnesses. Nice ableism you got there. Also I didn't ask anyone to send you "horrible insults." I just asked my followers to avoid and report you for suicide baiting; which is a very severe problem on the internet that no one deserves; least of all mentally and physically disabled people like me and many of my followers.
"Please don't ruin my life over this!" If you say things online that you don't want everyone to see, that you can come to acknowledge are the actions of an asshole, that's your problem. Don't tell people they should just give up and kill themselves if you don't want people to see how heartless you are. If your life is "ruined" by something you said you have no one to blame but yourself.đ€·
And of course the classic "I reported your post; I won't let you ruin my Tumblr life." ...are you even serious? You wrote those words; all I did was take screenshots and show them to my followers so they don't become victims of your harassment themselves- not everyone has the great support system I do, so they deserve a warning about people like you. Plus I said nothing wrong, I just told you that telling people to kill themselves is fucked up and made a post exposing your cruelty so you couldn't harm others who struggle like I do. If your "Tumblr life" gets "ruined" from this, your have no one to blame but yourself because all I did was post the words you put on my posts. I don't give a shit that you're "only 18;" you're still an adult and should know better than to tell strangers on the internet that their lives are so horrible they should just kill themselves.. also if you were actually "sorry" you wouldn't have said more cruel things after your oh-so-sincere apology.
There were even more responses they made saying they were going to kill themselves and it was my fault because I posted things they publicly said on a public platform, telling me they were going to Livestream their suicide and publicly blame me for their death, etc. (I reported those comments to Tumblr for a suicide threat but didn't get screenshots before they were deleted.) You can look at the amount of notes on said posts; this one has 27 replies with only 2 from me so they were harassing me all day with 25 comments while I went to some of my many appointments, so obviously I didn't get screenshots of them all, but the ones I did screenshot are more than enough proof that this person who told me I should just die and was trying to blame me for their mental state; saying I was guilty of something THEY actually did to ME, and that if they killed themselves it would be my fault... For simply making a post telling vulnerable people to be aware of them and their disgusting behavior because no one deserves to be told their life isn't worth living; especially when they've been fighting with those thoughts in their own mind for years and don't need some asshole online trying to push them over the edge towards suicide.
When I was a fucking child I knew that telling people to kill themselves is wrong. Not my problem that you're so cruel you can't see it that way and harassed me all day as I went to my disability appointments finding out if I need more surgery while my notifications were going off at a ridiculous rate as you were trying to convince me I'm the bad guy for warning vulnerable people about you; a person that told someone they don't even know who is a suicidal, ED recovering, physically and psychologically disabled person, that their life isn't worth living and they should just kill themselves.
This person is a threat to the mentally and physically disabled and they need their blog to be terminated so they can't trigger people on the edge like me and so many of my followers and others in the disabled/ED communities on Tumblr.
#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#depression#anorexia#Anorexia recovery#chronic illness#chronis pain#troll#treatment resistant depression#recovery#disabled#disability#disabled community#suicide#please report#bullying#cyber bullying#ableism#pro recovery#tw#spoonie#spoonie problems#suicide baiting#victim complex#Tumblr assholes#gaslighting#manipulation tactics#playing the victim#reported#hypocrites
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maybe a hot take but please donât have or stop having children if you have an active eating disorder/body dysmorphia (including binge eating, not just restrictive disorders). seriously
thinking youâll be the exception (because youâre So self-aware, unlike those Other disordered women) and wonât give your dysmorphia/eating disorder to your child is pride before a very slow and terrible fall
it never ever works. youâre never ever immune. i mean, such a huge reason of why there are so many of us now is bc our moms thought the same thing lmfao. didnât matter how well-intentioned they were. no matter how much they tried to separate Their Problems from Ours. here we fucking are
i know itâs not womenâs fault to begin with, but the reality is that those of us affected do incubate, nurture, and pass on the virus in the Current Way of Things
the buck needs to stop here. this isnât a game. think of all the things your mother probably thought she was expertly hiding from you that you still picked up on and were profoundly affected by in a terrible and formative way. it will happen to you, too. donât think it wonât.
if you know that youâre not solidly and confidently recovered, you have a responsibility to stop that buck and not actively attempt to create a child who will observe, mimic, internalize, adopt, and inherit your lifelong life-ruining behavior. the selfishness is breathtaking honestly
#eating disorders are one of the most treatment-resistant behavioral issues out there#once they take firm root#this is not quite the same as âdonât have children if youâre even a little bit mentally illâ btw before anyone thinks it is#this is a very specific problem#and it is LEARNED#you cant always protect your child from the outside world influence but you can do something about what your child starts with at home#i am recovered now but i couldâve saved my whole life if my mom hadnât been dieting when i was 7#so i started dieting too#bc she was my mom and i did what she did#cuz i was fucking 7#she never told me what a diet was. i just observed her.#and when she binged EYE binged#i blame her always for my food addiction
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Big headcanon that Lan Xichen adored baby A-Yuan when Lan Wangji brought him to the Cloud Recesses.
Big headcanon that he adored him so much, LWJ actually had to stop his brother from spoiling him because he wanted A-Yuan to be equal and have the same experience as the other Lan juniors so there wasnât any favoritism/jealousy or bullying against him.
Big headcanon that Lan Xichen found more practical ways to spoil him because he saw how smart and fast-learning little A-Yuan was and always made sure he had the tools and resources to excel in his studies and cultivation.
#mdzs#the untamed#lan wangji#lan sizhui#lan xichen#a yuan#zewu jun#hanguang jun#cloud recesses#mo dao zu shi#idc if it sounds ridiculous LET ME HAVE THIS ONE HC PLS#đ„șđ„șđ„șđ„ș#mdzs headcanons#idk I just canât fathom LXC being able to resist a-yuans cuteness LMFAO#bc I know I sure the fuck couldnât ?????#this is why I love writing the twin jades in my ZhuiLing fics with this dynamic tho#I really donât HC that LWJ would give special treatment to a-yuan for his own sake#like not in a mean way he just wants him to succeed and thrive as a Lan yknow?#and LXC secretly trying to spoil him is just goddamn funny and cute AKDJAKJD#lan yuan#and yes this is lowkey me thinking about the fic I just posted with LXC buying a-yuan treats at the festival đ„șđ„șđ„ș#twin jades#twin jades of gusu#both of them care about little a-yuan in their own way and I just love it sm OKAY
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FYI when it comes to trauma processing, sometimes one of the healthiest and productive decisions you can make is to ACTIVELY choose to avoid and not address an issue right now even if you "should"
Its easy to get caught in the "talk about it, use therapy productively, if you aren't doing anything, you aren't Doing Anything" and, while compulsive habitual avoidance typically causes temporary stagnation, ACTIVE acknowledgement that you are CHOOSING to ignore it and avoid it because you are CHOOSING to give yourself space and time is such a fundamental skill to emotional awareness, self regulation, self compassion, and rebuilding trust within yourself to maintain your own boundaries even when you feel that you "should" ignore them
Actively choosing to not address a topic at the moment is good practice at saying "I am not ready and I need more time and for that reason I am going to actively refuse to engage in this topic at the current moment" which helps so immensely at being more mindful of your own needs and emotional states which can be hard as someone with C-PTSD
Sometimes the best and most healing thing you can do for yourself is Nothing.
#alter: riku#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#c-ptsd#ptsd#subtext: yes I am also writing this to justify to myself my active decision to pettily and needlessly#avoid talking about something i should in therapy#cause it is petty and small and not mentioning it - while ânot productiveâ and âbeing resistant to treatmentâ - is relatively#harmless and annoying at best#so.... yeah im making that active decision cause i need that time#so imma take it
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someone brought up in the tags of another post that people think bipolar is easily treatable but it's not
and considering I am on
high dose abilify
lamotrigine
lithium
all simultaneously and I am still getting serious mood episodes I'd say they're right
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So, I have autism. One aspect of autism and/ or adhd is RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It's used to describe a type of emotional disregulation.
I accidentally made a relatively popular post (for me). (It currently has 2,900 notes. My next most popular post has 100.) 2,900 notes, and of them, only about 12 people who responded were negative and/ or confused. I was CONSUMED with feelings of anger, anxiety, rejection, and sadness about those 12 people. 12 out of 2900.
RSD is ridiculous.
But my psychiatrist added a new antidepressant, and suddenly those feelings are blunted, and I can let go of things that cause me anxiety. But I can still experience joy, etc. It's like... my emotions are less overwhelming, but I can still feel them? I hope I'm describing it well enough.
Is this how *normal people feel?
(*Normal, of course, is relative. In this case, it refers to people who are neurotypical and/ or do not suffer from mental illness.)
#autism#adult autism#late diagnosis#actually autistic#actually neurodivergent#mdd#major depressive disorder#treatment resistant depression#social anxiety#anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria#i'm on sooooo many meds#i'm on soooooo many antidepressants#antidepressants#another one!#like... 5 different antidepressants#that's a lot#i was on zoloft for 10 YEARS#only to find out i have a gene mutation that made it not work right#thank god for my psychiatrist#i can feel happiness again#depression#nuerodiversity#mental illness#mental health#neurodivergent
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Happy Birthday WeirdKev!
@weirdkev27 Here is your requested fic, the VTMB versions of Philliane Tropy and Zan Owlson being interviewed by a film crew a la What We Do In The Shadows! It's not EXACTLY like the TV show, I admit, but I think it has the right vibes, anyway. Hope you enjoy!
--
[cut to: PHILLIANE TROPY, a well-put-together Ventrue with pale blond hair, sporting a pink suit and a bright smile that looks entirely genuine â at least for the moment. She is seated behind a large desk of the exact type you imagine any CEO having, hands folded on the desktop]
TROPY: Oh yes, I know what a lot of the other Kindred say about me, and itâs simply not true. Itâs not that I donât respect any of them â itâs that I only respect the ones that I feel deserve to be respected! Itâs not my fault that the ones who most insist on respect are the ones least deserving of it.
[she adjusts her position in her chair, leaning back slightly with a more thoughtful look]
TROPY: Take, for example, a Prince of my recent acquaintance, one Sebastian LaCroix. Fellow Ventrue, installed by the Camarilla in downtown Los Angeles after they swept in to help the Anarchs repel an invasion by the Wan Kuei.
CAMERAMAN: [sound of ruffling paper] Sorry, hang on â we thought they were fighting the Kuei-jin?
TROPY: Iâve heard both terms, and after making some inquiries, Iâve learned they prefer Wan Kuei. So thatâs the term Iâm going to use. [shrugs] Might as well not make relations any worse, right? Anyway, I understood that becoming Prince of Los Angeles â the heart of the Anarch Free States â is an inherently stressful position. You are under a lot of pressure to make a good impression and do your job well! All without pissing off the locals. But Prince LaCroix...
[she sighs heavily and rolls her eyes]
TROPY: Well. His handling of his new domain left something to be desired. Zan knows all about it, donât you Zan?
[cut to: ZAN OWLSON, Trophyâs top ghoul and known lover, a dark-skinned woman with a curly Afro, large eyes, and an intelligent demeanor, sitting on a nearby couch. She nods in a very world-weary way]
OWLSON: She called me so many nights to bitch about him â I can say âbitch,â right?
CAMERAMAN: Yeah, if we need to, weâll just bleep it in post.
TROPY: [laughs as the camera goes back to her] Oh, it was definitely bitching, I admit it! Poor Zan, I kept her up at night, and not for the fun reason...but really, the things he pulled were outrageous!
[she leans forward in her chair, the humor in her face gone]
TROPY: Like, listen to this â he had an illegal Embrace in his domain, and not only did he initially try to kill the fledgling along with her sire â never mind it wasnât her fault she was turned without permission â he then turned the poor girl into his woman-of-all-work without giving her the slightest bit of education on what being a Kindred meant! He had her running around all over the damn city, doing things like blowing up Sabbat warehouses and investigating plague cults â things that no fledgling should be doing on their own! And he wasnât even paying her a fair wage for her work! Every ghoul on my payroll earns more than she did, with benefits beside â and theyâre almost all office workers! I had to step in and give the girl the money sheâd rightfully earned! Let me tell you, LaCroix didnât like that!
CAMERAMN: [sounding confused] Yeah, bet he didnât, but â hang on, back to the thing about your ghouls. Donât you usually pay ghouls in blood? Thatâs what all the other Kindred weâve interviewed have said.
TROPY: And they wonder why I donât respect them! [smacking a hand on the desktop] Blood doesnât pay the bills! Blood doesnât keep a roof over a ghoulâs head! The monthly drink from your domitor is a health benefit at most!
OWLSON: [off-camera] Philli has strong opinions about this.
TROPY: [sour-faced] It just agets under my skin that most Kindred consider making sure their ghoul stays a ghoul is sufficient payment for the work they do. No, making sure your ghoul stays a ghoul just ensures that they can keep doing the work. They deserve proper pay and benefits beyond the retention of their ghoul status.
CAMERAMAN: [with a soft chuckle] You almost sound like you want there to be some sort of âghoul union.â
[TROPY stares directly into the camera for a moment â then her face splits into a wide smile]
TROPY: That â is a brilliant idea. Zan, do you think we could start one up?
OWLSON: [off-camera] I mean, Iâm willing to try â but thereâs going to be a lot of pushback from the other Kindred with ghouls around.
TROPY: [grins, showing off her fangs â and looking truly dangerous for the first time during her segment] Fantastic. Iâve been looking for an opportunity to throw my weight around.
#weirdkev27#happy birthday#fanfic#vtmb#ducktales#phillianne tropy#zan owlson#I admit that I mostly know What We Do In The Shadows from seeing gif sets and stuff on tumblr#and picking up stuff from my friends#but I think this captures the right 'fairly casual' vibe#and I couldn't resist the opportunity to have Phillianne rant about LaCroix#and his treatment of Alice#and then my brain skipped a beat and got her talking about the treatment of ghouls#(probably because I was working on that section in Chapter 2 of Londerland Bloodlines at the time)#and I was like 'she IS the kind of person who would help create a ghoul union isn't she?'#so I added in the proper connecting bits and ran with it#hope you like!#queued
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#mine#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#simblr#sims#ofmd#ed#ofmd sims#i had an appointment w my psychiatrist 2day and it went rly well and im feelin rly good about it and myself rn đ#she said she thinks i do have adhd and since i already take adhd meds (off label for treatment resistant depression) she said that it would#be a good idea to talk to my therapist abt this too#and we can adjust some therapy stuff to be more suitable#got a zoloft prescription for during ovulation because i guess that is supposed to help w/ pms#and she's gonna try and get my insurance to cover dyanavel so i can try that too#good things good things!#like. idk i feel like im on the cusp of something good and i NEVER feel this way lol#but this could maybe be part of the puzzle and one step closer to figuring myself out
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Any advice for treatment resistant depression from fellow people with PTSD, MDD, and DID? Itâs also important to note that I have tachycardia (and itâs suspected to be POTS) as well as H-EDS
Iâve been on a plethora of medications since I was 13 (so ~7 years of trials and hospitalizations)
Some of those meds have included Lithium, Seroquel, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Buspar, Trintellix etc
Basically any of the first options doctors jump to Iâve tried already
I donât want to do any electric or metal therapy because my sister did it and has severe memory problems because of it - I also canât do weed related treatments because of my age and I donât want to as they trigger psychosis and paranoia for me
I know thereâs stigma about Ketamine treatments but I was wondering if any of you have tried and if itâs been successful
In terms of therapy Iâm doing good with that I just need medication that helps and doesnât have terrible side effects. Lamictal has been somewhat successful but I am not hungry at all and struggle to eat on it which is terrible because I also have ARFID
Any advice helps, thank you
#treatment resistant depression#trd#major depressive disorder#mdd#post traumatic stress disorder#ptsd#med management#medication advice#disabled#disability#pots#hypermobile ehlers danlos#heds
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being bipolar is like: you either take medication to be a digestible zombie for the people around you. you more likely than not spend a good amount of money that you don't have on meds. or you live unmedicated, and people are constantly hyper vigilant of your symptoms, worried, or nervous to be around you. now try all of this while being treatment resistant. and then try it after experiencing psychiatric abuse. and then try not to kill yourself or get sick when you look at a date for a psychiatry/therapy appointment
#it's just so frustrating too because i feel like people think i want to be treatment resistant#i want therapy and meds to be a fix all for me but they historically never have been#i don't want to be treatment resistant i don't want to be like this#thes.txt#suicide mention
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